I really don’t know what to say about penises. I guess I have mixed feelings about them. I mean, I know they have purpose in life and all...yet somehow they always seem like an extra appendage—you know what I mean? Also, you will have to admit that they are extremely silly looking. I don’t understand girls that go on and on about “what a nice cock you have,” and all that sort of stuff. I really don’t. Penises look too much like wrinkled little old men—kind of like little elves or something. I don’t know why, but I’ve always had the idea that penises should be on wheels. They’d just roll on down the street, stopping occasionally to greet each with glad hellos. That would be nice, don’t you think?