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Letters to the Editor

A PERFECT KO

To the editors:

           Let me us some of his oft-employed boxing analogies to say that Stuart Goldman delivered a perfect KO punch in retaliation to the cheap shot by the people at L.A. Weekly. There was no feinting, bobbing and weaving, or rope-a-dope from Goldman.  He came out slugging and didn’t quit ‘til his opponent was flat on his back.  It was a bloodbath, a slaughter.  My only question is, is there any chance for a rematch?  If so, I’ll be the first in line to get a ticket.

                                           --Gabe Nedzetsky

                                             North Hollywood

 

WIND IN THE DENIM

To the editors:

           I suppose, like most of your readers, I read your paper because I don’t have to pay for it.   If I did, I’d think twice.  Maybe in there somewhere is a way to deal with Stuart Goldman and the whole Wind-in-the-Denim school of writing (you’d think a falling out would at least stimulate them in some way: by this latest account, not).  Why don’t you simply stop paying them to write?  If we read them only because they’re free, maybe they’ll write less, or better, or more imaginatively, or something, for nothing.  It’s worth a try.

                                              --Roland Starke

                                               Santa Monica

DEEPLY OFFENDED

To the editors:

           Hey.  I just want somebody there to know how very deeply OFFENDED I am by that thing by Stuart Goldman (“They Picked on the Wrong Guy,” Reader. October 25).  Those nice people at the Whiekleigh don’t know the first thing about being offended.  YOU think YOU’RE offended?  Let me tell you what offended is.  This is the first letter I’ve sent out in almost six hours—that’s how very, terribly OFFENDED I am.  It’s—it’s—waitaminnit—dammit!  This printer is always fucking me over.  Someday all this is going to come back at you, Goldman.  What goes around comes around—doesn’t it?  Who can I talk to about this?  I’m sorry, it just upsets me so.  Waauughh!

                        --Richard Carson

                                              Hollywood

 

UNSPARING CYNICISM

To the editors:

           In lashing out at the L.A. Weekly staff
(“Final Cut” Reader, October 25) as “a bunch of bootlickers, low-rent hoodlums” and glorifying his own achievements—I sold a script, wrote the most popular Weekly article, etc., ad nauseum—Stuart Goldman reaches new heights in sniveling, sophomoric self-aggrandizement.

Ah, but to trade cheap, trendy barbs would
be to play Goldman’s own (and only) game.
Writers like Goldman subsist by tapping into the egocentric, unsparing cynicism that’s so au courant today—mocking any expression of intellect, sentiment or idealism as carelessly and thoughtlessly as junior high school punks throwing rocks at passing cars.

           Editors who publish trash like Goldman’s and readers who find him “clever” might stop smirking long enough to consider one possibility: hatred, venom and spite, even when cloaked in trendy humor, all amount only to…hatred, venom and spite.

                        --Alex Raksin

                                       West Los Angeles

 

 

ANSWER ME THIS

Dear Stuart Goldman:

           I have just been handed a copy of
the September 20 Reader with your article
“A Declaration of War” in it, and I’m forced
to rather begrudgingly admit that I agree with
a lot of what you say.  Still, I must ask myself:
many of us have troubles, problems, things that elicit anger and rage such as you express.  Yet we carry on in the face of this.  There are, you see, ways to change things, through awareness and through political moves; yes, Mr. Goldman, the system.  If we all must live in this society under the same laws and rules, what gives you particular right to express your revolt, your anarchy in this fashion?  While the rest of us sit in our “dreary little apartments” until our end comes not with a bang but a whimper, why is it that you shoot shotgun blasts at all these many targets.  Answer me that, my outspoken young friend.  Why?  WHY YOU?

                        --Jacob Mendelssohn

                                       Los Angeles

 

UP TO PAR

To the editors:

           I am writing in response to Sara Winstanley’s letter of September 20, “Meltzer vs. Goldman”: Meltzer’s writing style is pretentious, whiny, outdated, and uninventive.  He sounds like a lecherous, old, slimy, frustrated jerk.  However, Sara Winstanley seems to think that Stuart Goldman isn’t “up to par.”  Quite frankly, my dear, Stuart Goldman has nothing to compete with.  You can’t compare garbage to gourmet food. Stuart Goldman uses only the best ideas and creates his own style, while Meltzer copies everyone and can’t even do a good job of it.  Meltzer’s writing is seventh grade nonsense.

So, Sara Winstanley, eat your frumpy heart out.  Stuart Goldman wins!

                                    --Colette Duprey

                                       Sherman Oaks


JOINING THE RANKS

To the editors:

           No doubt you’re going to be getting a lot of indignant mail in response to this recent
column by Stuart Goldman (“A Declaration of War,” Reader, September 20).  I, for one, would like to come to Goldman’s defense, and perhaps he’ll need it. Unless Goldman is putting us all on (and he appears to be capable of doing this), I feel that this was a truly courageous piece of writing on his part.

Who else is telling it like it is?  Who else is telling us about the “pimps, ass-kissers and star-fuckers” who do, as Goldman so aptly points out, control things.  The point is, everybody in this town is playing the same game: TV, film companies, record companies, the (so called) critics, the newspapers.  It’s all a gigantic PR company!  And from what I can see and hear, Goldman is the only person in L.A. who’s shouting, screaming about this.  We all need to be more angry, more outraged, more indignant at just how bad it really is.  How controlled we really are. I, for one choose to wake up.  I choose to become aware.  And I choose, and it is a choice we must each make, to join the ranks.

                        --Sergio Gonzalez

                                       Los Angeles
HER HERO

To Stuart Goldman:

My Hero!  After reading your “Final Cut” column (“They Picked on the Wrong Guy,” Reader, October 25), I just had to write you and tell you that, next to Kurt Vonnegut, you are my favorite writer.  All my friends think so too. Isn’t it amazing how some people can get away with things like senseless petitions about one small newspaper column in a world where really major problems are totally avoided?

Your piece on Terry Cole-Whittaker was the best piece of journalism I have ever read in the Weekly, and it was probably the last article I read in that paper.  And when “Final Cut” appeared, I was overjoyed.  It’s now the only thing I look forward to (besides Binky) since they took away Matt’s “Sound Mix” column.

Thanks for setting the world right, and keep up the good work.  Don’t let ‘em bully you.  Oh yeah, can you send me a copy of the “Declaration of War” article.  I want to frame it and hang it in my apartment!

Anything you need, just call.

                                    --Barbara Hoffman

                                        ‘Teen Magazine

BRAINWASHED CULTIST                               

To the editors:
I do not wish to alarm you, but I think you should know that you have a brainwashed cultist on your staff of contributing editors.  I can tell because he says “I know” when he does not know.  Another indicator is his frantic declaration of having recently become one of the “enlightened” who have found the only way to “save humanity” before it is too late.  And dig this:  He is overtly using your publication to recruit others into his cult in order to save them from the other cults which he knows aren’t the way!

Look, I know this sounds bizarre.  But what if it is true?  What if there is hope for mankind?  What if some day someone who isn’t afraid to look for answers actually does find some?  Is this the “horror” from which we all need to be saved?   Your brainwashed cultist: Stuart Goldman.  The cult: CULTBUSTERS.  (A clever guise, but it didn’t fool this reader.  (Deprogramming is actually “re-programming”—into the deprogrammer’s own cult philosophy of “no answers are possible so don’t bother looking.”)   
                                        
                        --Hugh Gaugler

                                     Los Angeles

 


THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT

To the editors:

           Thanks for the great expose!  I am referring, of course, to Stuart Goldman finding the L.A. Weekly writers with their hands caught in the cookie jar of censorship.  Next thing you know, they’ll be banning Huckleberry Finn and hiring Tipper Gore as record reviewer.

Goldman’s descriptions of the book burners and his opinions of their work was hilarious.  Juvenile, yes, but hilarious.  Of course, Goldman was then compelled to once again drag out his Norman Mailer schtick and point out how great he is.Yawn.

But in a town chock-full of phonies and hypocrites, at least Goldman lays it all out and doesn’t try to hide anything, no matter how un-hip it may be.  He may, unfortunately, be racist and sexist and homophobic, etc., but he reflects 90 percent of American society.  And it’s always gonna be that way.  Why must we only be exposed to “liberal” viewpoints in these “alternative” publications?  If that’s all you want, read Mother Jones, not a city newspaper. When I read Goldman’s stuff, I really believe that he believes what he is saying, and that isn’t easy to find nowadays.  I don’t agree with everything he says, but I can still have fun reading it.  Plus, his writing does effectively communicate with the reader, and is totally devoid of pretension.  (Take note, Michael (Roadie) Ventura and Richard “f’instance” Meltzer.)

Face it: Goldman’s an asshole, but he’s a fun asshole.  That’s entertainment!  And that’s all it is.

                         --Jerrold Kazdoy

                                         Studio City

HILARIOUS HUMOR

To the editors:

I have watched in utter disbelief throughout the last few weeks as Stuart Goldman’s wonderful column has been assailed time and again by the most extreme left-wing paranoia.  But Goldman’s account of this latest escapade at the L.A. Weekly tops everything.  One week, they’re publishing an invective in support of free speech against the policies of the PMRC and the next, doing their all-out best to censor and psychologically lynch a writer they do not understand, do not appreciate, and generally can’t hold a candle to in style, truth, and sheer talent.  The capabilities of the human mind are truly amazing.  But I don’t worry about Stu.  He can take care of himself on the printed page.

Stu, baby, you’re one helluva writer.  I love your column.  I love your use of the English language.  I haven’t encountered such scathing commentary, outrageous and absolutely hilarious humor, as well as crazy frenetic energy since Harlan Ellison’s FREEP column in the ‘60s.  (Yes, he pissed people off, too.)  Stu, don’t let the self-righteous no-humor no-mine moral hypocrites keep you down!  Keep typing!  There’s a whole lot of us out here rooting for you!  And let me be the first to say that, if it comes down to a physical confrontation with these Weakly creeps, I’ll be right by your side.  Reader, thanks for having the guts to print a gutsy column.

                                    --J.F. Zamparelli                                                    Venice

WRATH OF THE CRIPPLES

To Stuart Goldman:

I must say that I enjoy your articles and your over-the-edge style, but I have to take issue with your reference to a former classmate of yours as a “cripple” (Reader, August 23).

It is one thing to recall your teenage cruelties by using your former terminology, (“Crip Snay”) and quite another to continue to use such an offensive term.  I, too, am what you would refer to as “a cripple,” having been partially paralyzed by polio in 1953.  I am also an actor, a husband, a social activist, a friend, a renter, a cat owner, a lover of folk music, a car-curser, etc. I hope you can understand my resentment at being reduced to an image of invalidity, ineptness, oddness, and sexual deviance all by the use of one silly, outdated word.

Imagine, if you will, trying to get a reference to a black person as a “nigger” past your editors or your readers, (especially in light of difficulties incurred from your use of the word “negro” once too often).

Now, I’m not a literary prude.  There are times and places for everything.  One of my favorite books is entitled The Crippled Liberation Front Marching Band, and there’s a terrific local rock group called The Cripples.  But these usages of the word are meant to make a statement, not thoughtlessly dropped slurs. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that, in an article about words and their true meanings, you never meant to malign me and a very large group of your fellow humans.  But often more damage is caused by ignorance than by intent, and your ignorance was rearing its ugly head.

Should you happen to refer to us again, there is a plethora of words or terms to use that do not offend.  They include “persons with disabilities,” “handicapped persons,” “physically challenged persons,” “people with special needs,” etc.  The key to it all, however, is that first of all we are people, not physical conditions.

Now, Stuart, write on, and may the wrath of the “cripples” of the world never have to fall on your head.

                                  --Alan Toy

                                            Santa Monica

PERFECT COLUMN

To the editors:

I just finished reading “Perfectman” (Reader, August 9) and feel a warm glow around me.  It feels good.

Stuart Goldman’s a fine, sensitive writer with a profound understanding of life.  He gives your paper some real class.  Run him some more.

                     --Theodora Carras Primes

                                     Los Angeles

WHERE’S STUART

To the editors:

I opened up my Reader this week and was so disappointed!  Where’s Stuart Goldman?  He was one of the few really “with it” writers you’ve had on your pages.  I savored his prose, and now I feel deprived.  Maybe he’s on vacation?  Let’s hope so.

Brian Bentley put it better than I can. (“Letters,” Reader, July 12)  Although I hadn’t perceived Goldman as a “chauvinist pig,” I just thought he was telling it like it was.  And if some “fagola” (loved that word!) reader takes offense… well, whoever heard of a name like Cornel Bonca?

That’s what makes a rainbow.  Everything’s not black and white.  Let’s have more Goldman on your pages.

                                    --C. Lee

                                                 Studio City

                                                           

EDITOR’S COMMENT

P.S.  Stuart Goldman missed one put-down in his tirade at the Weekly Staff: “pencil-necked geeks.”  But maybe he just left it out as a courtesy to Mr. Blassey, the pro wrestler who made this term his trademark.

YER AVERAGE JOES

To the editors:

Undoubtedly you will receive countless letters from outraged gays, feminists, and every other kind of special-interest group regarding Stuart Goldman’s “Final Cut,” (“Elvis, Dylan, Ali and Me,” Reader, June 28).

I would like to speak for the non-extremists, the men in the middle.  Not the trend-mongering, West L.A. snot wipes, but just your average joes.  We’re guys just trying to get by, guys with pot bellies, clothes that never seem to fit right, and looks that don’t get many.  We suffer silently while the more obnoxious of the species, the whining yuppies, complain and get the attention—making the whole world look to be wimped-out clones of Prince, or cardboard, Springsteen hunkers.

Stuart Goldman is a rare breed of writer.  He carries the torch ignited by Hunter S. Thompson, and is more focused than Richard Meltzer.  The amount of mail Goldman’s articles stir up is solid evidence that a lot of people don’t like to hear the truth.

I’m an often lonely writer and sometimes feel ready to throw in the towel.  But when I read Goldman, I wanna get up and write my ass off.  I wanna scream for the rights of normal individuals with antiquated belief systems where men are men, women are women, and the role reversals haven’t become so terribly suffocating.

Hemingway isn’t dead; he’s still living in Stuart Goldman—a chauvinist pig with guts and enough talent to fill every empty beer can I’ve ever tossed.

                                      --Brian Bentley

                                          Los Angeles

P.S.  How much money has the staff of the “Weakly” donated to Tipper Gore and the PMRC?
© 2014 Stuart Goldman
  • Home
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    • Excerpts >
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